Hope is a Bastard
by BinominalNomenclature
Summary: You know what hope is? Hope is a bastard. Hope is a liar. A cheat and a tease. Hope comes near you? Kick it's backside. Got no place in days like these.


**_A/N: _**_Hi, just quickly wanted to say this is a oneshot where Augustus has gone into hospital (not a scene from the book). T for language. The song is 'Picture Window' by Ben Folds. I do not own this song, nor do I own The Fault in Our Stars. Please review! I hope you enjoy. :) _

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**~ Hope is a Bastard ~**

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_They checked into the hospital New Year's Eve  
Nothing to be done about that  
Rainbows, daffodils; she's not naive  
Symbolism's all crap_

Hazel sat in the shitty plastic chairs in the waiting room. Strangely enough, she wasn't in the waiting room often. Instead, she was usually the one who was being operated on. She didn't like the waiting rooms. Despite the rainbows and daffodils, it still felt cold. She watched as a little girl holding her mum's hand walked down the hallway. The little girl was hugging a teddy bear, and looked vaguely happy. The mother, however, had tear stained cheeks and eyes. She tried to stop crying for her daughter, but the tears wouldn't stop. Hazel turned away, she couldn't look anymore.

Hazel scanned the table beside her, and having nothing to do, she picked up the most interesting looking book there: _Mac's Guide to Ice Fishing_. Hospitals always had the nicest reading material. She flipped through it but none of the words or pictures really registered. She put it down and picked up a magazine on the latest scandals in the celebrity world, i.e. Paris Hilton had worn the same shirt twice in one week, and Nicole Kidman went to the shops without wearing make-up. The shock. The horror. Hazel sighed and put it down, just as a doctor came up to her. "Hazel?" He asked. Hazel nodded. "Augustus is fine. We've moved him into a room, and we're going to keep him there over night, possibly two nights, just to make sure everything's in order." He explained, motioning for Hazel to follow him. She stood up and wheeled her cart along the the shiny white floor.

"But he's stable?" Hazel had to confirm.

"Yes, he's fine." The doctor smiled.

Hazel, relieved, breathed out, louder than she would have liked. She was just glad Augustus was okay. He was okay. Okay.

"It's unfortunate that we have to keep him here over New Years, but I'm afraid there's nothing we can—"

"It would be unfortunate in any circumstance." Hazel said, before she could stop herself.

The doctor looked at her and cleared his throat, stopping at the stairs and turning to the elevator, he punched the 'up' button and they waited in silence.

The doctor glanced at Hazel's oxygen tank. "Er, would you like me to..."

"No, thank you. I can manage." She replied.

The doctor nodded and stepped into the elevator, Hazel right behind him. They didn't speak until they arrived in front of Gus's room. Hazel smiled as Mr and Mrs Waters came out, gripping each other's arms. She had streaks down her face, Mrs Waters, from crying. But they were both smiling. Mr Waters hugged Hazel, and she hugged him back, then moved onto Mrs Waters.

"He's okay, Hazel. He's fine." Mrs Waters said, sweetly.

"He really should stop scaring us." Mr Waters laughed, shakily.

Hazel smiled, politely, but what she really wanted to do was just see Gus. To convince herself that he was okay.

Mrs Waters smiled. "We'll leave you two alone. Happy new year, Hazel, we'll be back soon."

They left, and just as Hazel was about to go in, the doctor warned, "He needs rest. He is stable, but still in a critical condition. Just remember that."

Hazel nodded, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She walked in through the door and closed it behind her. The first thing she noticed was a giant window.

_There's a big picture window in their room  
On the ward with a view over Parliament Hill  
But the view offers more joy than they can afford  
When there's this much pain to kill_

The second thing she noticed was Gus. Her Gus. Her Augustus Waters. His eyes fluttered open. "Hazel Grace?" He croaked. Hazel smiled and walked over to the chair, taking a seat. "Augustus," Was all she could say. He turned his head to face her and smiled, tiredly. She smiled back, feeling tears in her eyes. She took his hand in hers and they sat there. They just sat there. But it was more than enough. Because Augustus was not dead, he was just dying. And so was Hazel. They all were. Everyone. But the only dying people who mattered in that moment were Hazel and Augustus. And sitting there, their foreheads pressed together, everything else around them evaporated, and they were left in an un breakable bond of love. Hazel wasn't sure how long they stayed there like that, but when she felt Gus's breathing slow down, she sat back up. He was sleeping. She smiled at him, and her attention was drawn to the window.

_At dusk the darkness surrenders to colour  
As the fireworks streak the sky  
And their window gives them the prettiest picture  
Their useless luck makes her wanna cry_

Hazel looked away from the window and saw the clock. She watched the second hand. Tic, tic, tic, tic... And then it turned midnight, the shitty old year spent. Hazel kept holding onto Gus's hand, knowing she wouldn't let go. Normally, she would be celebrating New Years with her mum, she always had a huge celebration, but this time it didn't really feel like New Years. Not in the hospital. Hazel watched as the fireworks exploded in the dark night sky. The window seemed to somehow capture all hope and joy. And Hazel came close to smiling, before looking at Gus. She shook her head, sighing, and walked over to the window, angrily.

_Just as she's thinking of pulling the blind down  
A rocket bursts in front of her eyes  
The city lit up - Indiana's given a bright crown  
And she tries and fails to stop spirits rise_

Hazel stared through the window, watching the fireworks go off. They would shoot into the dark sky, and then explode in a mass of colours, before going out again. She found herself smiling, but couldn't stop. They were beautiful. She even laughed a little, but she wasn't sure why. Little did Hazel know that Gus was behind her, watching her. Watching her laugh and smile as the fireworks lit up her face. He smiled, too. They gave each other joy. They gave each other hope.

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_You know what hope is?_

_Hope is a bastard  
Hope is a liar  
A cheat and a tease  
Hope comes near you?  
Kick it's backside  
Got no place in days like these_

_In days like these..._


End file.
